So what ? : There is nothing more exasperating than these two words . For me, perhaps even more than anyone using cuss words. At work, you are expected to answer this question , the benefits and the direct impact the answer has on the brand and the revenue is imperative.
But what about being asked this question at every stage of your life? From a very early age, we learn – in a manner of speaking – to nitpick ourselves. We take information from those we encounter and the world around us to fine-tune how we act and who we are, taking note of what doesn’t work in an ongoing internal dialogue that stretches back to childhood.
Voila ! You have just given birth to a self critic. You tend to develop a myopic view on life , you shoot your dreams down even before they can realise and this becomes an infectious virus . You live with the thought that others might criticize and reject you and inadvertently evoke these very reactions. Then comes isolation from people and refraining from engaging in pleasurable activities.
I saw my entire life flash before my eyes, one long comparison to that perfect cousin , friend , colleague or neighbour and one long failure to measure up. Did I assume that with enough self-abuse, one day I would become a perfect person . One day I would finally be this fantasy super woman who would always “have it together”?
Suddenly I realized that my immense drive, the one that had motivated me to be a successful 'fixer ' was not a drive toward the happiness I wanted. I was not driving toward anything at all. I was driving away from something.
I drove myself to avoid feeling shame, self-criticism, and self-hate. I drove myself to please that voice from within, that said ' go girl you can fix this , this isn't your best as yet'.
For me to finally learn how to change this, I first had to ask myself…why? And yes, I know that am beginning to sound like a Guru of sorts , but follow me right through .
It's ok to be the person that leaves stuff on the floor and leaves the geyser on. It's perfectly ok to hate to launder the clothes , lose bills , its ok not to have an answer some times , it's ok not to know certain things , it's ok if you don't meet the deadline every damn time , it's perfectly ok to sit and not have a 'to do' and it's perfectly ok to love yourself enough to say no to things that you don't like.
The next time you notice that you are criticising yourself, stop trying to fix yourself and love yourself instead.
It's not that the journey will be happy with least baggage. It's just that we need to learn to carry it better so that we can enjoy every bit of it.
Happy Journey !
#journeyoflife #selflove #happyjourney